


Changki meets fanfics

by Sammyy16



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Forgive Me, Is this how u tag, M/M, My First Fanfic, Slow Burn, Sudden angst, Tried to smut, changki, changki rise, i really dont know what im doing, idk what im doing, light showhyuk/hyungwonho, slow build up, u can see it if u squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 13:17:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8715490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammyy16/pseuds/Sammyy16
Summary: Changkyun reads changki fanfics and it gives him tingly feelings.





	1. Fanfic Boner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun reads changki fanfics and it gives him tingly feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right off the bat I'm just gonna apologize for the bs that is this story. Literally got 3 am changki feels and wrote this with eyes crying for sleep. To top it off I've never written a story forget fanfic before so pls forgive me idk how to write how to pace how to grammar or how to smut. No clue why I even did this but I wasted 3 hrs of sleep on this so I'm gonna post it even doe it's shit. I'm too trash for this ship. Enjoy.

 "Do you like that babe?" Kihyun whispered in Changkyun's ear as he slid his hand up and down his warm length, slowly coming up to rub the tip with his thumb. Changkyun's moan was muffled from the cloth tied around his mouth. He longed to touch Kihyun but his hands were tied to the bed. Kihyun had wanted to try something kinky and Changkyun went along with him, he had no idea he would end up feeling it this much. He was stark naked in bed with Ki on top of him, touching him in places unknown to himself. He wanted Kihyun inside of him-

"That's it," sighed Changkyun as he slammed his laptop shut, "I can't read anymore." The boy had been sent something called a fan fiction by Jooheon whose internet rights should have been revoked by now. Jooheon was known to watch reaction videos of fans, but Changkyun had no clue how he came across whatever the hell that was. It was the third one sent to him in a week and for some damned reason he kept reading them. The first one wasn't that bad, it was even kinda cute and fan service tends to put all kinds of ideas in fans heads but this? This put the ball right out the park. There was no way Changkyun could look at his hyung in the eyes anymore.

He was already having trouble suppressing his budding feelings for his lovable hyung and these fanfics weren't helping at all. They were giving him some kind of hope that there could be something between him and Kihyun when clearly that wasn't the case. 

He thinks back to that time on after school club when the two were asked to reenact their head bumping scene, from the all in mv. The scene that started Changkyun's one-sided crush. When Kihyun had put their heads together Changkyun's heart raced and he unconsciously leaned in for a kiss, to which Kihyun responded by pulling back with a disgusted face. Changkyun had quickly played it off as a joke and brushed away his bruised heart. It was then that he realized how hopeless his situation was.

"Changkyun-ah what are you doing?" asked the voice that pulled him out of his flashback. He looked up from his seat to see who the voice belonged to, it was Kihyun; the cause of all his problems.

 _"Do you like that babe?"_ Changkyun blushed as the words of the fanfic popped into his head. He quickly stood up and shook his head trying to get the words out. "N-nothing," he mumbled, "just surfing the web."

"Are you okay?" Kihyun asked while watching Changkyun's weird movements. The younger was prone to doing weird things but the past week he had been acting weirder than usual, especially around Kihyun. The older boy reached out and touched Changkyun's cheek, feeling warmth spread under his touch.

"I-I'm fine," Changkyun stuttered as he swatted away his hyungs hand "did you need something?"

"Not really, just came to tell you it's time to get to bed, we have an early schedule tomorrow," Ki answered as he tried to ignore the ache he felt from the younger one's actions. Changkyun had never minded it before when Kihyun touched him but these days he avoided him like the plague. It ticked the older for some odd reason, especially when he saw him getting along with Hoseok.  _"You're okay with his touch but not mine?"_  Kihyun thought as he stared at Changkyun whose face had gotten profusely redder.

"Ah okay then, I'll get to bed," he said as he left to get ready for bed.

**********

In bed Changkyun laid awake wondering what he was going to do with himself. His behavior was noticeably getting unusual and if he kept at it, sooner or later his feelings would be exposed. First thing first, he had to get Jooheon to stop sending him any of those fanfics, it was driving him crazy.

That night Changkyun dreamed of Kihyun pinning him against the wall and kissing him like no tomorrow. His tongue had explored every inch of Changkyun's mouth, while his hands grazed against his nipples. Changkyun let out a moan while an overwhelming loud noise pounded in his head - it was the alarm.

He woke up to the biggest boner he's ever had in his life. Changkyun blamed it on the fanfic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY THAT WAS THAT. Pls leave comments on what you think if that was shit or not I'd love some feedback. Whether or not I continue this story depends on if even 1 person likes it. Even doe it felt like I created shit I had fun writing it so there's that. Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more? Maybe?


	2. Han River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jooheon gives Changkyun some love advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left such nice comments on the previous chapter, yall motivated me to finish what I started. Obviously, this one is probs as shitty because idk how to write or make things interesting but I tried so I hope yall like it. I have no idea where I'm going with this story. What is grammar and smut idek, nonetheless enjoy!

"Why don't you love me?" asked the pink boy as he straddled Changkyun who left deep hickeys around the boy's nipples.     

"I do love you," replied the youngest as he bit Kihyuns nipple "your throbbing dick inside of me that is." - "Hyung,"- "Why? Do you want me to love something else?" Changkyun devilishly asked Kihyun who was getting ticked off. 

"So you're only with me for the sex?" - "Yah hyung,"- Kihyun asked as he slowly undid the button and zip on Changkyun's pants. He grazed his hand over the youngers underwear, slowly teasing the boy before- "Seriously hyung, stop it already!" yelled Changkyun as he snatched the phone out of Jooheons hands, the rapper had clearly pissed him off. 

They were both sitting in the back of their company van waiting for the others. The boys were on their way to model for the Litmus brand they support. Changkyun saw it as the perfect opportunity to talk to Jooheon about the fanfics without the other members knowing. He brought up the topic to Jooheon who responded by opening one up on his phone and reading it out loud. 

"Why are you being such a spoil sport Kyunnie?" asked the squinty eyed boy as he reached out for his phone.

"Why do you keeping doing this to me?" hissed back Changkyun as he pocketed the boy's phone, he wasn't getting it back. 

"Doing what?" 

"Sending me these weird ass stories!"

"Ah," mouthed the boy "that."

"Yeah that! Things are getting so uncomfortable around me and Kihyun because of these shitty ass stories your sending," Chnagkyun huffed out "On top of that you just freaking read it out loud to me, aren't you embarrassed?" Changkyun was getting annoyed, he felt like he was getting nowhere with Jooheon and this conversation needed to end before the others came.  

"I just thought they'd help you deal with your locked up feelings for Kihyun." replied the boy who realized his plan backfired. At first, he had sent him the stories as a joke but quickly he realized Changkyuns feelings and thought that maybe they would help him confess his feelings.

Changkyun was dumbfounded, not at the fact that Jooheon knew his feelings, but that he thought sending him basically gay porn would somehow help him. Changkyun sighed as he looked towards his best friend and hyung, there was no way he could deny his feelings and he did need someone to talk too. 

"Okay fine, whatever, just stop sending those things, they don't help," Whether or not they helped, Changkyun couldn't deny that he was hooked on them but there was no way in hell he would admit that to Jooheon.  

"Alright alright," Jooheon said in english "I won't send them anymore, but you clearly like them, your big ass boner gave it away this morning."   

"HYUNG PLEASE," pleaded the embarrassed maknae as he thought about jumping into the Han river. Jooheon chuckled as he kept teasing the poor boy. It was then that he came up with the perfect advice to give to Changkyun.

"Tell Kihyun you love him and then french kiss him hard."

"What?"

"That's what Jackson did to me and I completely fell for him, trust this hyung and do that," exclaimed Jooheon as he thought back to the night Jackson had confessed his undying love for him. 

"First of all too much information and second of all there is no way I am doing that," sighed the boy as he turned back in his seat, getting ready to put his headphones in. Talking to Jooheon was just getting weird, he should have known better than to listen to someone who sends him gay porn. He wondered what was taking the others so long to come. 

"No look, I'll teach you," says Jooheon as he moves in his seat towards Changkyun. He pulls the boys face closer to his own, their noses touching, eyes locked. The latter had put on a poker face to which Jooheon said: "I can't express the proper emotions to a face like that!"  
  
Changkyun relaxed his face and wondered if he had ever done anything more stupid than this before. Jooheon opened his mouth to whisper the three magic words but before he could he was interrupted by a "What the fuck are you two doing?" The boys looked over to see Kihyun staring at them both with a horrified look in his eyes. The two didn't hear the car door open nor Kihyun getting in and freezing on spot.

Changkyun pushed Jooheon back in his seat as he stuttered "I-Its not like that, we were just playing around."

"Yeah, I was just teaching him how to confess to the love of his life," Jooheon replied while pretending to look hurt by the rejection. Kihyun still looked dubious but before he could ask anything else Minhyuk came in.

"Why are you just standing there Kihyunnie? Hurry up and sit down," said the dark haired boy who was followed behind by the others. With that, the topic was dropped but not forgotten.

Kihyun sat in his seat brooding over what had just occurred. He didn't expect to walk in on Jooheon and Changkyun kissing, which they weren't but we're clearly about to. It was something he'd expect from Hyungwon and Hoseok who could never keep their hands to themselves. It didn't make sense and there was an uncomfortable feeling inside him. The more he thought about it the angrier he got. "Wait a minute," Kihyun thought "Isn't Jooheon going out with Jackson? And what is this about Changkyun liking someone?" 

He looked back to the boys with a scowl on his face. Jooheon smiled back with his dimples while Changkyun sat with his eyes closed. Kihyun turned back and faced forward, deep in thought. The whole ride there he tried to give a name to his negative feelings. By the time they reached the place he knew what it was that he felt. 

While everyone else did their own thing in the car, Changkyun sunk deeper and deeper into his seat. He quietly wondered which day would be the best to jump into the river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if it was too short this chapter was actually gonna be longer but I decided to split it in half aha. The next update probs won't be until Monday since I have some other shit I need to catch up on. Im shook because I didn't expect anyone to like it but I'm glad yall do, hope this chapter is good too. Thanks for reading and as always I'd love some feedback and pointers. Till next time~
> 
> Also just wanted to shout out a congrats to our monsta x babies for winning "best of next" award at mama they deserve that and more <3


	3. Hickey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun gives hickeys and in return he gets hickeys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllooo~ I procrastinated the shit out of my hw so I couldn't post this earlier. Not to mention the white girl self cam djdhdhjd that shit left me paralyzed for an hour. I tried to make this chapter long keyword tried. Hope you like it!

"I want to bite it," Changkyun thought "I really badly want to bite it." That was always the case with Changkyun whenever he saw Hyunwoo's muscles. For some inexplicable reason, every time he saw them the need to bite it came over him. Hyunwoo was walking around in a sleeveless shirt that showed off his biceps, unaware of the maknae's internal battle. Changkyun would have already gone and bit them by now but after the incident in the car he didn't know if he should. 

The minute they had reached the studio everyone was rushed off to get ready and try their clothes on. Changkyun had no time to clear up the misunderstanding with Kihyun and he didn't know if he even should. He had no clue why Kihyun was pissed off at them, he was always really touchy with Jooheon and Kihyun had never minded it before. Besides, Changkyun was in the midst of avoiding his hyung. Either way, Changkyun didn't want another issue to arise so he kept away from Hyunwoo, making sure not to end up biting him. But now, with him modeling right beside Kyun, his muscles in clear view, the boy couldn't hold it in anymore. He had been doing this since their debut so everyone was used to it by now. In fact, him not biting them seemed more unnatural.

With his mind made up, Changkyun followed the leader to the food table after the photographer okayed their photos and did the deed. He grabbed Hyunwoo's arm and bit him hard, right in the center of his triceps. The leader, who was used to the maknaes actions continued stuffing his face with food, only flinching when Changkyun bit too hard. Once Kyun was satisfied, he stepped back to admire his handiwork. Three deep dark spots adorned his hyungs arm. Maybe because he held it in for too long the hickeys seemed darker than usual. He hoped the makeup noonas wouldn't have too much trouble covering them up. Before Changkyun could go in for another bite, an apple piece was stuffed into his mouth by Minhyuk. 

"Hyung," Minhyuk said while shoving more pieces of apple into the younger's mouth "you should seriously stop him before he tears out your flesh." Minhyuk frowned at the hickeys on Hyunwoo's arm, he was seriously getting sick of Changkyun marking what was his.   

"Ah it's fine, I don't really mind it," replied the big teddy bear. Minhyuk's glare quickly made him realize he shouldn't have said that. "Ah-um, I-I'm just gonna go change okay," He mumbled while backing away. He speed walked towards the changing room leaving behind a jealous Minhyuk and the maknae who was still chewing on the apple pieces. 

As Changkyun watched Hyunwoo run away, his eyes met Kihyun's who was up ahead modeling with Hoseok and Hyungwon. They briefly locked eyes for a few seconds before Changkyun turned away, choking on the apple.   

"Ah, seriously Kyunnie," sighed Minhyuk as he gave him a tissue to spit the apples into and rubbed his back. "But really, you need to stop biting Hyunwoo, it's not nice."

"I don't see why everyone's got their panties in a twist these days. You never cared about it before," Changkyun lashed ouy while wiping his mouth. He was tired of having to be careful around his members. There was already the issue with Kihyun and now this. "Besides, hyung doesn't have an issue with it, he says it's okay."     

"Yah! I'm still your hyung, you can't talk to me like that," Minhyuk replied while smacking Changkyun on the arm. Even though Changkyun was witty and smart, he was really dense when it came to these kinds of things. Hyunwoo and Minhyuk hadn't officially come out to their members yet but everyone knew about it already; almost everyone. "I'm just saying it probably hurts him a lot even if he doesn't express it. Here, let me show you how it feels."

Changkyun got the shivers when he heard Minhyuk say that. He tried to get away but Minhyuk quickly got a hold of the maknae. He pulled back his collar revealing Changkyun's skin and bit in hard, very hard. "YAH HYUNG," Changkyun screamed as he pulled away, rubbing the attacked spot on his neck.    

"See I told you it hurt," smirked Minhyuk, laughing as he ran away. He was fully aware of the boy chasing him from behind. There was no way Changkyun was letting him get away with that. 

Kihyun saw it all; beginning to end. From the moment they had arrived at the studio, Kihyun's eyes never left Changkyun, glancing at him whenever he had the chance. He had come to understand his newly discovered feelings but hadn't quite accepted them yet. "There's no way I'm in love with him" Kihyun had thought while he was getting ready. It made no sense to him yet it was the only thing that could explain his behavior. Why he had felt sad when Changkyun avoided him, why he had gotten jealous when he saw him with Hoseok and Jooheon. Especially now, it had explained the heat rising within him as he watched Changkyun with Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. "I'm just a friend to him; a bandmate" but no matter how much he denied his feelings, they wouldn't change. 

"Kihyun and I.M, please come up it's your turn," said the assistant from the doorway. 

Changkyun froze as he heard the words, for the first time he had hoped they wouldn't be paired up this time. Ever since the All In mv they were always told to model together and Changkyun had enjoyed it. It allowed him to be closer to Kihyun but now he wasn't looking forward to it. He had avoided Kihyun for a week, not to mention what happened back in the car and their awkward eye contact. There was no way he could do it, but he had too. It was his job and he needed to be professional about it.  _"This_ is what you get for reading those stupid fanfics. If you hadn't, you wouldn't need to avoid Kihyun and that thing with Jooheon wouldn't have happened," he depressingly thought as regret pooled over him. 

"You're being called," Hyungwon said from the seat beside him. He was scrolling through his phone looking at memes of himself sent by fans. He chuckled at some of them but most of the time he wondered how he could let the fans see the visual of the group like that. 

"We should really stop searching ourselves on the internet," Chankyun quietly thought. All the other members were packing up and getting ready to go. Kihyun and Changkyun's modeling segment was the last before they moved onto their next schedule. Kyun sighed and made his way out the door, the sooner they started the sooner they finished.

**********

It was normal, way too normal. They had modeled as if there was nothing awkward going on between them. Seeing Kihyun seperate his personal life with work and working professionally made Changkyun realize not only how much he loved Kihyun but also how much he admired the boy. 

After they reviewed the photos and the photographer let them go they walked to the changing room to change and then headed out to the next location. Well, that was what was supposed to happen but instead Changkyun was being dragged by the hand by Kihyun into a room at the very back of the studio. The room was dimly lit and small and smelled like it was freshly painted. Kihyun had pushed Changkyun into the room then entered himself and locked the door. Changkyun was scared, he had wanted to talk to Kihyun to clean up the mess they were in but definitely not like this.

"You shouldn't go around giving hickeys," Kihyun said as he walked toward Changkyun whose back hit against the wall. They were so close Changkyun could swear he heard a heart pounding, whether it was his own or Kihyuns he didn't know. 

"What?" The boy asked clearly confused as to what was going on.

Kihyun's eyes were lit ablaze determined to go through with what he had planned to do. The whole time they were modeling together Kihyun had held himself back. As their fingers brushed and heads bumped he held himself together but he couldn't anymore. He couldn't bear seeing Changkyun walk away from him and continue to avoid him. Kihyun didn't care about what he truly felt, all he wanted right now was Changkyun. 

"I'm going to kiss you Kyun," Kihyun confidently said, his eyes locked with Changkyuns. 

"What?" Changkyun repeated, barely understanding what was said

"In 3 seconds I'm going to kiss you. If you don't want me to leave now."

Changkyun couldn't comprehend the words being said to him, all he knew was that he wanted to kiss Kihyun, badly. Ever since that head bump he had wanted to kiss him. He saw it happen in the fanfics, even in his dreams. "Is this a dream?"  He thought. Changkyun didn't move from his spot against the wall instead he counted to three.

1.....2...

It came crashing down. Kihyun's lips came crashing down onto Changkyun's. They were warm and soft just like Changkyun imagined them to be. He kissed back, wrapping his arms around Kihyun's waist. Kihyun pushed Changkyun up against the wall as he felt the boy kiss back and everything felt so right. 

With his lips he opened up Changkyun's mouth wider and quickly pushed his tongue into the boy's mouth. Changkyun's knees buckled from the intensity of the kiss, it was something he had never felt before. Kihyun was the first to let go but rather than stopping, his mouth traveled to the maknae's nape where Minhyuk had left his bite mark. He bit in, sucking at the skin, slowly letting go to bite all around his neck as Changkyun softly moaned in his ears. 

Changkyun's hands sneaked under Kihyun's shirt, caressing his back slowly as Kihyun's mouth met his own again. The older longed for more, he wanted to strip the boy bear right there and then and leave marks all over his body. He pulled Changkyun's hand from under his shirt and pinned them against the wall beside his head, knotting his own hands in. They kissed and gasped for air and just when Kihyun thought he couldn't hold back anymore he whispered in Changkyun's ear "I lo-"

"Changkyun are you in there?" Jooheon asked as he knocked on the door and tried opening it, only to find it locked. "You still have my phone, where'd you put it?" The boy asked unaware of what was going on in the room.

Kihyun pulled back a bit, letting his eyes meet Changkyun's, neither of them saying anything. He looked at Kyun's plump lips, red from all the kissing. "Where's the phone?" he breathlessly asked. 

"It's in the changing room, back pocket of my jeans," Changkyun whispered back, heavily panting. This was nothing like the fanfic or his dreams. His heart was thudding as blood rushed to his head. 

Kihyun observed Kyun, his face flushed and eyes sparkling, "cute" he thought. He quickly gave the boy a small peck on his forehead before breaking apart. Kihyun headed to the door which was being pounded on by Jooheon. He slightly opened it, carefully blocking Changkyun and walked out.

"What we're you doing in there? Is Changkyun with you?" Jooheon asked curiously.

"No I haven't seen him but I know where your phone is, follow me," Kihyun said leading him away from the room. "He tastes like apples" Kihyun thought while smiling. Jooheon followed behind confused, wondering what in the world Kihyun was doing inside the room alone.

Inside, Changkyun slides down the wall hitting the floor hard. He curls up putting his head between his knees and drowns out all noise. He tries to calm himself down and collects his thoughts. "What just happened? He kissed me. Why? What? Does he like me? Was he jealous? No way right?"

Who knows how long Changkyun sat in the dark place asking questions he wasn't going to get an answer to anytime soon. Every place Kihyun had touched burned intensely as Changkyun longed for him to come back. He definitely had to talk to Kihyun now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's that. The smut came to me at 4 am when I was reading changki fanfics so if it's shit I apologie that's probably the best I could do loool. I know how torturous it is waiting for updates so I try to update as soon as I can but this time I won't be able to update till the weekend my apologies. Also the next chapter will probably be the last one unless my limited brain cells come up with another plot or something. Thanks for reading and I read all comments so pls leave some feedback! Till next time~


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk that never happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damn this is late af I'm so sorry for making yall wait so long TT_TT school was being a bitch and I got writers block and I was being lazy af. I procrastinate even the things i love. Idk I think I screwed the story up aha I'm shit idek anymore. Enjoy.

It's been 3 days since the make out incident and Changkyun's questions still hadn't been answered. Kihyun had been ignoring him and Changkyun couldn't believe it. "You can't just ignore someone after sticking your tongue into their mouth,"  Changkyun agonizingly thought. All the members were at dance practice sharpening up their skills for their next comeback. Every time they had a break Changkyun would stare at his pink haired hyung, willing him to look at him; not once did his hyung look his way. 

Changkyun had let it go the first day, thinking it was just because Ki was embarrassed, hell he was embarrassed himself. Neither of them looked at each other the rest of that day but by the time they had returned to their dorm the boy was over his embarrassed feelings and wanted answers. He couldn't help but have expectations towards Kihyun as his ever growing feelings became stronger. What Kyun kept hidden deep inside himself all this time was ready to burst.  

When they had returned to the dorm that day, Chankyun was quietly biding his time waiting to corner Kihyun and continue where they left off. He found him in the kitchen preparing ingredients for the next morning. Changkyun swiftly walked through the kitchen and back hugged the unaware boy, quietly whispering "Hyung." The words carried a hint of lust as they traveled to Kihyun's ear, who tensed at the touch of the youngest.   

"Don't touch me," the boy dangerously whispered back with malice in his voice. He removed Changkyun's hands from his waist and flinched at the look of hurt on the others face. Kihyun quickly returned all the items to their place and walked back to his room leaving Changkyun frozen in the kitchen. Kyun was taken aback, he wasn't expecting such a response but he didn't take it to heart. He knew how reclusive Kihyun could get, especially when it came to himself, so Changkyun decided to give him some time.    

**********     

That was what Changkyun had said to himself, but now in the practice room, he's realized it wasn't working. Clearly, Kihyun wasn't going to step forward no matter what so Changkyun had to somehow get him to talk, the only problem was he didn't know how. Kihyun wouldn't even make casual talk with him, avoiding him full out. 

He observed his hyung's relfection from the mirror, watched him laugh and have fun with the others as negative thoughts pooled over him. "Maybe he doesn't even like me and I'm just getting ahead of myself,"  the boy sourly thought "But then why would he kiss me if that wasn't the case?" he asked himself again. The questions swirled in his head giving him a major headache.

While the maknae slowly drifted into oblivion his hyung's were taking a break from their dance routine. Minhyuk had his head down on Hyunwoo's lap and his legs stretched onto Jooheon's lap while the two boys conversed with each other. Hyungwon and Hoseok were fooling around with each other as Kihyun wiped away his sweat. He repeatedly told the two boys to keep their gayness in check.

A loud thud was heard when Changkyun slammed his head against the mirror. He hoped the pain would make his thoughts disappear but instead it just worsened his headache. The sound was loud enough for everyone in the room to hear for they stopped what they were doing and looked towards their maknae. Kihyun was the first one who ran to the boy and grabbed his head in his hands. 

"Yah, Kyun are you okay, what happened?" the elder asked as he inspected the redness that appeared on the youngest forehead.

Changkyun was surprised by Kihyun's sudden attention. He had ignored the boy for three days not saying a word or noticing him and now all of sudden his hands were on his cheeks and his eyes filled with concern.   

"Now if that was Hyunwoo hyung the mirror would have cracked," Hyungwon snickered from behind as he received a smack from Minhyuk who was now standing beside him. Everyone knew there was something going on between Kihyun and Changkyun, they were both acting weird since they modeled for litmus. But they didn't exactly know what was happening so they let them be and decided only to intervene if things got out of hand. 

Kihyun quickly realized what he was doing and dropped his hands from Changkyun's face. Kyun saw how his hyung retreated back into his shell, hiding from him again and it angered him.

Changkyun moved away from his concerned hyung and stood up. "I'm fine, I must have dozed off without knowing," He blatantly lied, not caring if they believed him or not. "I'm going to go out for a breather," He said while he grabbed his towel and water bottle and made his way out the room, slamming the door as he left. 

"Dozing off my ass, only Hyungwon is stupid enough to do something like that," Minhyuk scoffed as he returned to his place in Hyunwoo's lap. 

"Yah! Only my bed has the blessing of being laid upon by such a heavenly being," Hyungwon replied as he went to go sit on the boy who had just insulted him.  

"And Hoseok hyung's dick," Jooheon whispered under his breath. He ended up receiving a smack from said hyung.  

"But seriously what is going on?" Hoseok asked as his gaze landed on Kihyun, who awkwardly resumed wiping away his sweat.  

"Why are you asking me? How should I know?" He tsked as he sat in the corner of the room. He put in his headphones and played the music on blast so he wouldn't have to hear the others whispers. 

Kihyun drowned in his guilt as he listened to his music play. He knew exactly what was going on and it was eating him away but no matter how loud he played the song it wouldn't bury out his thoughts. "What am I doing? How could I do that to him? I'm supposed to ignore him.....gosh I'm such a coward." In the end that was what he was; a coward. Kihyun was afraid of his feelings for Changkyun, he had no clue what had come over him that day.

It was only when he was in the car and when the heat died off that he truly realized what he had done. "I kissed him. I actually did that to him. How did that even happen, oh my god why would I do that?" He relentlessly thought as he played back the scene in his head. He had never felt this strongly for anyone before and he didn't even know how it happened, how he fell in love.

He was calm and collected, someone who had control over himself so when he lost that control it scared him. Changkyun was changing him and he didn't like that. Jumping head first and kissing someone out of the blue was something he wouldn't do, but he did. Getting jealous and having no control over himself was something he wouldn't feel, but he did. He jumped onto a path he didn't know if he was ready for, and without thinking things through he had ruined his relationship with Changkyun. It hurt him, he wanted to be with the boy he loved but he didn't know how. "I'm an idiot."

**********

Outside, Changkyun stalked off to one of the smaller practice rooms that were meant for writing lyrics. He quickly entered one and sat himself on the chair cursing and pulling at his hair. "Ugh I'm such a fool! Ki hyung finally looked at me and instead I showed him attitude. Why is it so much easier in those fanfics. They say 3 words and next thing you know they're sucking each other. Idiotidiotidiotidiotidiotidiot" He spent a total of five  minutes beating himself over the lost opportunity to talk to his hyung. He couldn't help himself it was just too frustrating. "

That's it! I'm done with this bullshit. I'm going to get him to talk to me once and for all. I am a fighter after all." He smirked at the thought and returned to the dance room with determination. It was clear Kihyun felt something for the maknae, what he felt Changkyun was going to figure it out. He was going to use every method he had under his sleeve. "I'll even threaten to hide his favorite kitchen utensils...yeah that'll show him!" 

When Changkyun returned to the room he saw that it wasn't just his members there anymore. They were all sitting down surrounding their manager. 

"It's good you finally came, I was just about to send someone to get you," The manager said as he motioned for Changkyun to take a seat with his members.

Changkyun did just that. He walked and sat with a loud thump right beside Kihyun who stiffened at his presence. Hyungwon snorted at the sight and was elbowed by Hoseok in the ribs. "What? Is it beat Hyungwon day or something?" The tall boy hissed as he rubbed his injury.

"We're taking you guys on a 3-day 2-night getaway as a reward. Before your next comeback, it's good to be rested and relaxed. Once you get back to the dorms start preparing to leave. That's all, resume your practice now." 

The boys cheered and marveled at the thought of a vacation. They quickly got back to practice so they could go home and start packing. 

"So what fanfics are you packing to take with you?" Jooheon joked as they walked back to the dorms. He expected a smack or glare from the younger but instead he was met with a secretive smile. 

"The hottest and steamy ones," The boy smirked back as he ran ahead to follow Kihyun. 

Once again Jooheon was left to follow behind completely confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah sudden angst I think that's angst is it? Sorry after such a long wait it's a short chapter but THERE'S A REASON! It's a stupid reason but basically I don't want to end the story at 4 chapters the number bothers me for some godforsaken reason so I'm dragging it to 5 Yay otherwise it would have been Hella long. I swear the next chapter will make it up well I hope it does. It'll be up by Friday! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated thanks for reading!  
> P.s pls let me know if theres some smut school I can go to so I can learn how to smut I know nothing about dicks


	5. Gay Bible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of the trip was off to a great start, especially for Changkyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses I am just trash that needs to be thrown into the dumpster pls forgive this late af update (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

The boys woke up early, all ecstatic for their trip. They had worked endlessly promoting their new song fighter and finally, they got the break they deserved. Monsta X was going to a beach house where they would sit around a bonfire, swim and stargaze. No cameras, no producers just them and their two managers.

Everyone was up and about packing last minute things, everyone but one certain individual. It didn't matter when Hyungwon went to sleep, early or late, he could never wake up in the morning. The sounds of Minhyuk clattering around the dorm and Hoseok whispering sweet nothings into his ear had no effect on him. There was only one person that could get him up and that was Kihyun.         

Kihyun entered the room and eyed the lump that laid curled in the blankets in the bottom bunk. Next to the bed was Hoseok on his knees quietly whispering "Hyungwon my love, it's time to get up, We've got quite the day ahead of us," he chuckled as Hyungwon clutched the blankets tighter. Kihyun stared at the sight and wondered if Changkyun would ever wake him up like that. Kihyun imagined Changkyun's deep voice whispering into his ears, his face blushed when instead he remembered his soft moans from the studio. Kihyun cleared his head from such indecent thoughts and walked over to the two boys.   

"He's never going to wake up like that," Kihyun scoffed as he grabbed Hoseok and ushered him out the room.     

"Wake him up gently okay," Hoseok said as he walked out the room.

"Whatever," Kihyun replied rolling his eyes "and listen hyung!"     

"Yeah?"

"Those ramen packets that you secretly tried to hide when you thought I wasn't looking, well those better be out of your bag-"   

"Oh my god! Look at the time, you should really wake him up or else we'll be late," Hoseok interrupted as he pushed Kihyun farther into the room, closing the door on his way out.  _"Does he have eyes in the back of his head?"_ He thought as he left to devise another way to smuggle his ramen with him. 

Kihyun sighed as he turned to Hyungwon and shouted at the top of his lungs "YAH CHAE HYUNGWON!" 

**********

When Kihyun and Hyungwon got onto the bus they were met with unexpected applauds. 

"Wow," Minhyuk exclaimed as he aggressively clapped his hands "I didn't think we'd be blessed with his majesty's presence this morning. Did you have a good sleep? Don't mind us, it's not like we were here waiting or anything for the past half hour."

Hyungwon smirked at his hyung and slowly made his way to his seat. "Well that's good news then, I don't have to feel guilty about taking my sweet time. After all, it's not like you all were waiting for me or anything," He countered as he sat beside Hoseok, putting his head into the nook of his neck. "Did I keep you waiting?" he asked his boyfriend with puppy eyes, ones that he could never go against.    

"Of course not love," Hoseok replied while gently patting Hyungwons cheek. Before they knew it they were lost in each other and forgot the presence of the others, as they always did.

Minhyuk pretended to throw up in his mouth as he took his own seat beside Hyunwoo. Kihyun sat in the empty seat in front of Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. On the other side of the bus and a bit ahead of him, sat Changkyun and Jooheon. Kihyun watched as the rapper line fooled around. He was relieved yet discouraged at the fact that Changkyun wasn't sitting beside him.

Ever since last night, Changkyun clung to him like a koala. He would follow him around the dorm, wherever Kihyun went Changkyun was behind in tow. Kihyun never knew their maknae could talk so much, he could have easily rivaled Minhyuk as he chattered to him in the kitchen and then in their room. He ignored him, never once responding to the boy but silently he relished in his deep voice. Kihyun settled back into his seat willing thoughts of Changkyun away as the bus lurched and set off towards their destination.

An hour was how long Changkyun waited before moving out of his seat into the one beside Kihyun. He didn't want to set Kihyun off by being beside him all the time, he wanted to give him some space at the very least. Changkyun could feel Kihyun tense up as he sat beside him. The older turned and looked out the window, but Kyun had caught the small smile that had formed on his hyungs face. Changkyun smiled to himself as butterflies flew in his stomach. It was the same last night too. No matter how much he had attached himself to Kihyun, he was never told to move. Rather, Changkyun would notice small smiles here and there as he rambled to Kihyun. Kyun had concluded that if giving Kihyun space didn't work then he would do the opposite; stick to him until the boy was forced to acknowledge him.

Changkyun talked continuously to the unresponsive boy as the bus slowly got closer to the sea. Kyun didn't even know if he was listening to him for loud music pounded from his hyungs earbuds, he swore Kihyun would go deaf at this rate. Realizing the boy was just wasting his breath he stopped talking and instead intertwined his hands with the ones resting on the arm seat. Ki's hands were soft and small as Changkyun grasped them as he leaned his head onto Kihyuns shoulder. Kihyun tensed and tried to untangle his hands but Kyun wouldn't let go. The maknae tightly held onto the limp hand as he drifted into a deep slumber. It was only when Kihyun heard Changkyun's soft snores did he clasp his fingers around the sleeping boy's hand. He slowly raised Kyun's hand to his lips and gently kissed it, smiling as he leaned his own head onto the one resting on his shoulder.

Jooheon quietly watched the scene unravel before him as he wondered how the two weren't married yet. 

**********

The beach house was big and beautiful and had the boys awestruck. Large windows reflected the sunrise and sweet sounds of wind chimes could be heard in the distance. 

"Whoa, I can't believe we're gonna be staying here!" exclaimed Minhyuk as he marveled at the scenery in front of him. The smooth sound of water had him imagining countless scenarios that involved a naked and wet Hyunwoo. He giggled at the thought as he gathered his stuff and followed the managers to the house. "Hurry up guys," he yelled to the others lagging behind "the sooner we settle in the more fun we can have!" 

The interior of the house was as grand as it had seemed from the outside. There was an abundance of natural light filtering through the house that relaxed the boys. They had only been in the house for 5 minutes and it already felt like home.   

"Okay there are a total of 5 rooms so everyone will need to pair up and since we're on vacation you can choose who to room with. Gather back here after you've put away your stuff." With that, the managers left the 7 boys to choose their partners. Being the odd number they are, one of them would end up alone and Jooheon already knew who it was going to be.  

Before anyone could say anything Changkyun grabbed Kihyun's hand and raised it high into the air. "I'll room with kihyun hyung!" Before Kihyun could object Minhyuk did the same with Hyunwoo and Hoseok followed with Hyungwon's hand. Jooheon sighed as he confirmed his suspicions, he was going to be the third wheel in 3 different couples.

"Wait a minute," Kihyun said as he took his hand away from Kyun. Jooheon noticed the look on Kihyun's face and he knew the boy was going to reject the idea and he couldn't have that. Changkyun was trying so hard and Jooheon couldn't see him suffer anymore. He knew exactly what to say to irk Kihyun who was easily prone to jealousy. 

"What's the matter hyung? Do you not want to room with my kyun?" He asked with a smirk.

"Tha-"

"I think that's better! You can take the room alone and I can go with Kyun, I don't like being alone anyway," Jooheon said as he slung his arm around Changkyuns shoulder. "We're gonna have so much fun!"

The others laughed at Jooheon's obvious attempt at invoking jealousy. "Well, you three can figure it out yourselves, we're gonna go on ahead," Hoseok said as he dragged a sleepy hyungwon with him. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo followed behind.

Kihyun hated the idea of being in the same room with Changkyun alone. But he despised the idea of Changkyun being in a room with someone other than him alone even more. Especially if that someone else was Jooheon.  _"My Kyun my ass,"_ Kihyun bitterly thought as he shut his mouth and made his way up the stairs to their rooms. "Grab your stuff and hurry up," he ordered as he looked back towards Changkyun.

"Coming," the boy replied happily as he followed Kihyun. "Thanks hyung," Changkyun whispered back to Jooheon.

"No problem kkukkungie, you get it!." He gave him two thumbs up and then walked to his own room. 

It was only when everyone had settled into their own rooms, did Kihyun realize he could have paired with Jooheon and Changkyun could have gone alone  _"Fucking hell._ "

**********

It was a book. Well, that was what Kihyun concluded as he stared at the rectangular object wrapped in brown paper that laid in Changkyuns suitcase. They were putting away the contents of their luggage into their rooms when Changkyun excused himself to the bathroom. Kihyun couldn't help but peek at what the maknae brought along and it was then that he saw the brown paper peeking out from under his clothes. Kihyun, being the nosy person he was, couldn't help but want to know what the mysterious object was. He picked up the wrapped book and wondered what the hell was going on in Changkyuns head  _"Why is the book wrapped?"_ He was about to unwrap the square object to see what it was but before Kihyun could, he heard loud screeching from where the direction of the bathroom. 

Everything that played out from there seemed to happen in slow motion as Changkyun rushed to Kihyuns side and smacked the book right out of hand. His palm hit the bottom side of the book, hitting it into the air as it flew across the room to the open balcony and slid right off.  _Splash_ came the sound as both boys realized the book had fallen into the water. 

"Fuck!" Changkyun swore as he stormed out the room to retrieve the book which was at the mercy of the waves.

The door had nearly hit Minhyuk who had come to find the source of the wailing scream. "Ok, what possessed Changkyun?" he asked the boy who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

The pink haired boy stood frozen in place as his brain attempted to process what had just occurred. He had heard a loud scream that resembled the screeching of a thousand rubber chickens and then a book was flying out of his hands into the ocean.....right?

"He's gone mad." Kihyun whispered back.

**********

Outside, Changkyun sunk to his knees as he watched the waves carry the paperback away. The book in question was a yaoi manga he had brought the day before the trip and deemed his bible. A gay story written by a Japanese artist had become his everything. He had fallen in love with the story because of how much he could relate to it. A story about the difficulties of a one-sided love and the efforts it took the main character to become one with his love. As Changkyun had finished it last night in bed it had enlightened him and given him the newfound strength to make Kihyun his. Thus, he named it his bible and now it was floating away towards the horizon. In the end, Kyun thought that it was better off in the ocean than his room where his hyung could have found it again. He sunk deeper into the sand as he realized there was no way he could explain his behavior. Once again Changkyun blamed the fanfics for introducing him to the world of yaois and everything else that went wrong in his life.

Hoseok had seen the whole ordeal from the balcony of his room and chuckled as he watched Kyun cover himself in sand and try to disappear off the face of the planet.

It was going to be one hell of a trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's been like 3 weeks and that's all you have to give?" is probably what you're all wondering and honestly I fucked up. I thought I could finish this before my exams started but I realized I write slow as hell and so that didn't happen. Instead of leaving yall hanging for another 2 weeks I thought I'd just give yall what I have so far and finish it up after my last exam which is on the 26th. I'm clearly dragging the story and ruining it but im shit so pls forgive me TT_TT
> 
> I made a twitter since I'm planning on writing more fanfics so yall can dm me @changki_trash if yall wanna know where tf I am with the story or if yall just wanna talk about gay monsta x in general or if you just want to complain about my slow ass updating that's fine too. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and comments are very much appreciated.


	6. Friends are Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun and Kihyun realize the importance of their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask me what's going on because I myself have no clue what I'm doing. This story was supposed to be like 3 chapters only idek. 
> 
> I did edit this but I wrote this till like 3 am half asleep so if theres any mistakes let me know and I'll fix them. Thank you for your patience and Enjoy~

Changkyun trudged back to his room while mentally preparing himself for the questions he presumed he would be bombarded with. What he hadn't prepared for was an apology from Kihyun.  

"Sorry about your....uh....package, I shouldn't have picked it up. It must have been important for you to run out like that." Kihyun had concluded he didn't want to know what it was and remain uninvolved. 

"No Hyung its okay you don't need to apologize, it wasn't that important anyway. I'm sorry if I ended up hurting you back there." Changkyun thought back to the way he slapped the book out of Kihyuns hand. "Is your hand okay?"  

"Yeah its fine, don't worry you didn't hurt me."

"Oh, I see that's good."

Commence the awkward silence that occurs after an awkward conversation. They both stood there stiffly wondering what words would dissolve the tense atmosphere. What they needed was a bright fluffball and as if on cue he had appeared.    

"Ah Changkyunnie that was quite the show you put on, thanks for entertaining us hyungs!" Minhyuk exclaimed as he came into the room and ruffled the poor boy's hair. He was endlessly going to be teased about this now. "Now hurry up both of you everyone's waiting downstairs, let's start this trip and have some fun!"     

**********

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen such a blue ocean before!" Hyungwon said as he covered his eyes from the warm sunlight and squinted towards the distant horizon.      

They had just finished breakfast and were now scattered around the beach. Since it was a private area they were the only ones there, so they were able to roam around freely. Minhyuk and Kihyun were hard at work burying Hyunwoo in the sand.      

"Seriously Kihyun I told you to cover everything but the abs." Is what Hyungwon would have heard if he wasn't completely immersed in the being that was coming out of the water. He gulped as he watched Hoseok walk towards him, water dripping off his perfectly toned body. Hyungwon could clearly see his V line from his sagging shorts.   

"Hyungwon the waters great you should come in," Hoseok innocently said unaware of his lover's struggles. He looked at Hyungwon who had crouched down and covered his face with his hands, his ears bright red. Hoesok also crouched down and whispered into his ears "Why are you getting shy? It's everything you've seen before." He devilishly smirked. He really wasn't as innocent as he seemed to be.   

Hyungwon blushed harder and abruptly stood up and ran towards the ocean, he hoped the cold water would help him cool off.

"Wait for me!" Laughed Hoseok as he ran after him. 

Jooheon and Changkyun laid side by side on the blankets, a giant umbrella shading them from the sun. Jooheon could hear the distant laughs that came from the others and looked towards the boy by his side. The whole time they had been outside Changkyun had been in the same position, eyes closed body unmoving.  

"Come on bro, how long are you going to be depressed? Who cares about your gay ass bible? Forget about it and let's go have some fun." Jooheon had coaxed Changkyun into telling him what happened during breakfast. Now he had spent at least half an hour coaxing him out of his depressed state.    

"Be quiet Hyung I'm not depressed, I'm meditating. This is a good time to reflect on my past actions and grow as a person. I've realized love is useless and I should just focus on becoming the best rapper out there!" Changkyun took in deep breathes as he calmed himself.

Jooheon was seriously sick of the maknaes behavior. "Come on," He said as he got up and pulled at Changkyuns arm, trying to get him upright "what happened to your determination are you seriously giving up already?" 

"I have decided to let fate handle it and let the universe do what it wants," He replied as he continued meditating.   

"Fine, well I'm going to go do what I want!" Jooheon said as he threw Changkyuns arm down and walked away to have his own fun. "Your pansy ass can continue meditating for all I care."

"Pansy?? I am not a pansy!" Changkyun wanted to say but he knew Jooheon was right. But he couldn't help but be muffled under his growing hopelessness. All his determination washed away alongside his book. "A sign! It was 100% a sign that nothing was going to work out between me and Kihyun. This isn't a fanfiction but reality." 

Minhyuk watched Kihyun as he alternated between covering Hyunwoo and glancing towards Changkyun and Jooheon.  

"You're putting sand in my mouth Kihyun," Hyunwoo said as he coughed it out.

"Sorry Hyung."

"If you're so curious about what they're talking about, why don't you just go and join them?" Minhyuk asked Kihyun as he watched his reactions like a hawk.  

"I'm not curious."

"Yeah and I'm not gay," scoffed Minhyuk  

"Ah, seriously this is getting boring," Kihyun replied as he got up and left to find a better source of entertainment.  

Hyunwoo sat up and shrugged the sand off himself and gave Minhyuk the look. Not the 'sexy let's go to the bedroom' look he wanted but rather the 'we need to help them out' look. Minhyuk sighed and looked towards the maknae. Kihyun was a wall there was no way to get to him, that left Changkyun.

**********

Changkyun opened his mouth to start another breathing technique when suddenly he was choking on water. He got up to see Minhyuk with a water gun in his hand.

"I have come to solve all of your issues and enlighten you young grasshopper!" Minhyuk said to a confused Changkyun. "The others and I have been watching you and Kihyun and we're sick of both of yours bullshit, therefore, I have come to lend a helping hand." Minhyuk knew Changkyun was dense and that he probably hadn't figured out Kihyuns weakness. "Our first goal is to get Kihyun to notice you!"   

Changkyun decided he might as well play along with Minhyuk since he could become very persistent and besides, what did he have to lose? "Really and how are you going to do that?"   

"By attacking his weakness!"

"........and that is?"

Minhyuk, with the extra personality that he has, paused and dramatically pointed at Changkyun. "It's you!" 

Changkyun stared at his hyung before laying back down and resuming his meditation. 

"Hear me out!" Minhyuk got on top of Changkyun and explained his plan. "Remember when you hurt your head during our dance practice and Kihyun rushed to you even though he was ignoring you? That's our key! Kihyun can't see you getting hurt so no matter what he'll come to save you! Just watch me!"

Changkyun watched Minhyuk run to where Kihyun was sitting and saw him say something to him. By the time he finished talking, Kihyun had dropped the watermelon he was eating and was rushing to where Kyun was sitting. Changkyun watched as Kihyun knelt by his side. "What happened? How did you get hurt?" Kihyun asked as he looked over Changkyuns body, looking for what Minhyuk described as "a big red cut that wouldn't stop bleeding". "Where's the cut?" Kihyun asked with worry in his eyes. 

"There is no cut Minhyuk hyung was lying." Changkyun replied in a daze. He couldn't believe that Minhyuk was right. A warm feeling began to replace the hopelessness he was feeling. 

"Oh," Kihyun said as he stood up embarrassed. 

As Changkyun realized Kihyun was about to leave he quickly grabbed the boys shirt and lied about spraining his ankle.  

"Climb on," Kihyun said as he crouched down and motioned Changkyun to climb on his back. Changkyun hesitantly climbed on as he wrapped his arms around Kihyun. He could hear his heart thumping as he smelled Kihyuns scent. As Kihyun walked them towards the house he could see Minhyuk with his "I told you so" face.   

That was how Changkyun spent the rest of the day pretending to get hurt. Sometimes he would trip and scratch himself other times he would pretend he was choking on something. Little shenanigans like that and each time Kihyun would come to help him. They had more physical contact in that one day then the past week. Finally, everything was working out for Changkyun.    

**********   

After spending all day yesterday lazing around, the seven anonymously voted and decided to hike the nearby mountain. Jooheon thought it was pretty dumb voting anonymously since the result was 6 for and 1 against, and everyone knew who voted no for hiking.     

"I can't believe we came to the beach to climb a damn mountain! Who does that?" Complained Hyungwon as he swatted at the mosquitoes making way to his skin. After the body excruciating "exercise" he and Hoseok did all last night, Hyungwon had planned to spend the next day lazying around and touring the nearby area, trying out some food stands he had seen. His plan clearly didn't have mountain climbing on the list. "My ass really doesn't need this right now," He bitterly thought as he climbed up.  

"Come on lighten up! I heard the view up there is great. At the checkpoint is a nice little lake that you can swim in and it even has that tire swing!" Minhyuk replied. It was his idea to go on the excursion after he heard some locals from the nearby town talking about it. He wanted the whole group to have fun together and decided this was the best way. Although that was just an excuse. In reality, he just needed Changkyun and Kihyun to be in the same place at the same time. The group slowly made their way up the trail. Each of them carrying bags of food and supplies. They were told that the chairs and the BBQ grill were already set up, so all they had to do was bring the food.

Kihyun watched Changkyun's back as the male carried a bag of coal for the fire. Ever since yesterday Changkyun was being far more clumsy than usual. He would whine over minor cuts and scrapes, wounds he'd usually pay no mind to. Kihyun had his suspicions, but he didn't believe that Changkyun would purposely get hurt just so Ki would pay attention to him. It was only last night when Changkyun cried about some nightmare that he had and asked Kihyun to sleep with him, that Kihyun realized this was just another plan of his. Changkyun had only let the members see him cry twice. Once on No. Mercy and then at their concert, he had shown his tears. There was no way that the same boy would cry over a nightmare, no matter how bad it was. But even though Kihyun had figured that out, Changkyuns tears still caused his heart to ache. After No. Mercy Kihyun had promised to himself that he would never let Changkyun cry, yet now Kyun was forcing out his tears just because of Kihyun. The pink haired boy didn't know if he should laugh or cry at the maknaes foolishness. As he got in bed and comforted the boy he knew he had to get Changkyun to stop before he really hurt himself.      

The boy in question mindlessly continued walking up the trail, unaware of a hot a gaze on his back. Changkyun was coming up with the perfect way to confess to Kihyun. He was starting to feel guilty for tricking Kihyun and making him worry for no reason. Little did he know that Kihyun was one step ahead of him. Changkyun planned to confess to Kihyun once the moment was right. One last time he would pretend to get hurt and when Kihyun comes to save him he would pull him down, kiss him hard and confess. Just like in his favorite book. Hyunwoo had advised him that even if he does confess, that didn't mean Kihyun would be true to his feelings and accept him.

"Even if he rejects you don't let it get you down. First, confess and let him know for sure how you feel and then from there we'll come up with the next course of action." Hyunwoo had said to him in the morning while they were packing the supplies. Changkyun felt confident and optimistic knowing Minhyuk and Hyunwoo had his back. He hummed all the way to the top of the peak, he didn't need fanfics or books, he just needed his friends.

"I know what you're doing and it's not going to work, so you better stop putting stupid ideas into Changkyuns head." Kihyun dangerously whispered to Minhyuk. The two boys were lagging behind the others and it was the perfect time for Kihyun to talk to Minhyuk. 

"Uh... what am I doing? What's not gonna work? And since when were my ideas stupid? I mean not that I'm putting any ideas in his head, but even if I were they would be brilliant ones." Minhyuk casually replied, feigning ignorance.  

"You are so hard to deal with!" scoffed an angry Kihyun "Making him get hurt just so I notice him, what if he gets hurt badly huh?"

"Oh please, I'm not the one leading him on and besides, whose fault is it that he's getting hurt? You're the one who only pays attention to him when he's hurt. Listen Kihyun, I don't know what you're running away from but this whole "I like you but I'm gonna ignore you" business is not going to work. If you don't like him then reject him and if you do like him then go tell him that! The only thing you're doing is hurting yourself and him."

Minhyuk sighs as he realizes he's poured out all the feelings he'd been holding back in regards to this situation. It was time Kihyun knew the result of his actions and how deeply they were hurting him and Minhyuk couldn't bear to see that anymore. He focuses on the boy standing in front of him. His pink hair a bright contrast compared to the backdrop of the green forest. But most of all, Minhyuk focuses on Kihyuns doe eyes and realizes they have swelled up with tears. 

"I-it's not that easy for me to tell him...I-" Kihyun breaks down into little sobs as he crouches onto the forest floor. "I don't know what to do."   

"Hey now, there's no need to cry come on," Minhyuk coons as he hugs Kihyun. "You're my best friend you know that right? So just trust me, I'll make everything better." He wipes his tears away and forces Kihyun to get up. "You don't want Hyungwon to catch you crying now do you, he'll tease you forever about it." 

Kihyun chuckles as he realizes he'd rather die then let Hyungwon see him cry. He lets Minhyuk drag him the rest of the way up as he thinks maybe just once it's okay to rely on someone else.  

********** 

The checkpoint was the farthest they were allowed to climb. Once they reached it the boys find a river stream and far in the distance they could see the ocean. Further downstream the bodies conjoined which meant there were definitely fish in the river. Looks like the fishing poles Jooheon was forced to carry could actually come in handy. The view itself was astounding, the boys stared at the towns in the distant and the ocean as it sparkled because of the sunlight. A cool wind was blowing that cooled them down and kept the heat from getting to them. 

Nearby was another trail that led a bit farther into the mountain and there they could see a giant tree. Half of its branches were hanging off over the cliff, underneath the sound of water rushing. Attached to one of its largest branches was the tire swing Minhyuk had heard about. It swung in the wind, high above the water and was the perfect source of adrenaline for the daredevils, which only seemed to be Hyunwoo in this particular group. It was the perfect diving board to jump into the lake.  

"There is no way I'm getting near that safety hazard," Hoseok spoke up as he moved farther and farther away from the swing. The distance between the cliff and water wasn't much, but to someone with acrophobia, it seemed like bungee jumping from the Eiffel tower.   

"Come on don't be party poopers! We're here to have fun!" Minhyuk exclaimed as he began walked towards the tree.    

"Now now," Hyunwoo said as he reached forwards and grabbed Minhyuk by the waist, pulling him back "let's first unpack our things and then everyone can go have fun."    

Hyunwoo carried Minhyuk over his shoulder as the boy tried to struggle out of his grasp. The others followed the leader and began to unpack. Jooheon and Hyungwon went to the river and began setting up to fish as Changkyun got to work with setting up the chairs. By the time they had reached the top it was already around noon so Hoseok and Kihyun began prepping the grill to cook the meat.

"Are you okay? I saw you crying back there," Hoseok whispered next to Kihyun.   

Kihyun was so taken aback by the sudden question that he ended up burning his hand on the grill.   

"Ah be careful!" Hoseok said as he grabbed his hand and pulled him to the side where the first aid kit was. He sat Kihyun down onto the log that was there and poured water from a nearby bottle onto the burn and applied the ointment on. "Were you that surprised by my question? I'm still your hyung you know, it's my job to take care of you and the rest when your hurt. Whether that be physical," Hoseok said as he raised KIhyuns injured hand "or emotional."

"Sorry hyung," Kihyun quietly whispered back. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hoseok could tell from the way Kihyun was acting that he clearly wasn't okay. 

"Hyung!" Changkyun shouted from the side as he ran to where Kihyun and Hoseok were. He had heard Kihyuns shout and when he saw Hoseok bandaging him up he had to see what happened. "Are you okay? What happened?   

"It's just a burn, I'm fine."   

"Are you sure? Let me see." Changkyun said as he reached for Kihyuns hand.  

"I'm telling you I'm fine! Stop bugging me!" Kihyun yelled. He didn't know who that was voiced towards. Was it for Changkyun or Hoseok? Or maybe it was for himself. But the look of hurt on the maknaes face made Kihyun feel guilty for he must have assumed it was towards him.

Kihyun rarely ever used to yell at Changkyun, but nowadays he was either yelling at him or not talking to him at all. "Sorry," Changkyun muttered as he turned around and walked back to where he came from. Kihyun groaned and put his head in his hands.    

Hoseok chuckled as he watched the two, he and Hyungwon had had their fair share of problems too. "If you need any help let me know," Hoseok said as he ruffled Kihyuns pink hair. Ki watched him walk to where Changkyun was crouched down and climb upon his back, causing him to fall down. That's just how Hoseok was with Changkyun; it was his way of trying to cheer him up. Kihyun watched the two play around when suddenly he stood up abruptly.    

"The meat!"   

**********

After they had finished stuffing their faces they all walked up the trail that led to the tire swing. 

"Aren't you supposed to wait two hours after eating to swim?" Jooheon curiously asked. 

"That's just a myth and besides do you want to go swimming after the sun sets huh?" Hyungwon chided.   

The seven boys gathered under the tree to decide who would go first. Jooheon and Hoseok sat in the back by the tree trunk and began playing cards, neither were planning on trying it anytime soon.    

Maybe it was because Hyunwoo was used to being the leader that he could see the hesitation in everyone's eyes.

'I'll go first," He volunteered. The boys were already wearing their swim trunks underneath their clothes. He began stripping off his shirt and shorts, exposing his tanned abs and ripped biceps.    

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Minhyuk whistled in the back.    

Hyungwon and Kihyun rolled their eyes as Hyunwoo blushed and walked to the edge of the cliff. He got onto the tire and began swinging back and forth. As the swing gained momentum, squeaky sounds could be heard from the tree as the branch leaned downwards because of the weight. 

"Uh guys, I don't think this is safe," Kihyun said but it went unheard as the boys watched Hyunwoo let go of the tire and do a perfect dive into the river below. They cheered as they saw Hyunwoos face surface from beneath the water. He had the biggest smile on his face as he climbed back up, his eye smile was glowing and he gave the others two thumbs up. With that, the rest loosened up and began fighting over who would go next. It seemed like only Kihyun was worried about the sounds the tree made each time someone would swing.

"Get that stick outta of you ass and come join us!" Hyungwon shouted as he ran past Kihyun and jumped into the water for the nth time, splashing Hyunwoo who was floating around. Kihyun stood beside the swing and stared at the unpleasant object. He didn't know why but something about it just didn't fit well with him.          

Changkyun poked Kihyun in the middle of his forehead as he said "If you keep frowning like that you'll get wrinkles. Your fangirls wouldn't like that." 

Kihyun stared at Changkyun, water dripping from his bangs. He saw his flat stomach and chuckled as he remembered his round belly. Pot belly was what Kihyun sometimes called Changkyun in the past. The past where they used to laugh easily and couldn't go a day without saying something to each other. Kihyun wondered where everything went astray and realized it was probably the day he had kissed Changkyun for the first time. 

With that thought, the rest of the memories came rushing back. The way his eyes had twinkled and the taste of apples. Most of all the softness of Kyun's lips. Changkyun's lips. Kihyun let his eyes wander to them and saw they were in a little smile. He met Changkyun's eyes as they silently observed him back. Kihyun moved his hand towards Kyun's face and let his thumb wipe at the drops of water on his face. As his thumb slowly brushed against his bottom lip he could once again feel the softness. It was like Kihyun was back in that little room again as the same desire swelled up within him. He wanted nothing more than to feel those lips on his own again. He leaned towards the boy in front of him who was slowly closing his own eyes. They were so close yet not close enough.     

"Kyahhhhh!" was all both boys registered as they jumped away from each other and looked back towards the source of the scream. It was Jooheon who was screaming incoherent words as he climbed the tree as if his life depended on it. From the laughs of Minhyuk and Hoseok, Kihyun and Changkyun could deduce that they had probably played some kind of prank on him. They both made eye contact again and laughed as they recalled Jooheons scream. Kihyun laughed harder and doubled over from the way Changkyun mimicked his girlish scream.   

"I can hear you!" Jooheon yelled from on top of the branch, making everyone laugh harder. It was the perfect moment for the boys to make a beautiful memory. Maybe that's why everything went wrong from there.    

Maybe it was Jooheons weight on the tree, or the branch had weakened from all the swinging. Or maybe it was just the old age of the tree that had caused it to fall apart. Rocks and leaves tumbled from the side of the cliff as the squeaky sound of the branch twisting intensified and it fell into the water. Hoseok was able to react fast and quickly grabbed Jooheon so he wasn't dragged down along with the branch. As both Minhyuk and Hoseok pulled Jooheon back up they heard screams from the front where Kihyun and Changkyun were standing.

Kihyun watched as the branch came crashing down onto them. They were both standing at the edge carelessly, only now did Kihyun realize what a dumb thing that was to do. Kihyun thought he was about to die when suddenly Changkyun pushed him to the side, away from where the tree was falling apart. Kihyun fell backward onto his butt from the push. He looked up to see Changkyun standing before him.

"Now that was close," Kyun said as he put forth his hand for Kihyun to grab and stand up.    

But before Kihyun could hold on, Changkyun was being pulled backward. The rope from the tire swing had somehow tangled up with his feet and as the large branch fell into the river it dragged Changkyun along with it. Kihyun tried to move fast and grab onto Changkyuns hand but he was too slow. He watched in horror as Changkyun was pulled down and into the river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering where the fanfics theme and the smut went dw I'm wondering that too lmfao i fail as author. Also as u can tell updates are gonna be slow as fuck because I'm slow as fuck at coming up with ideas so pls forgive me for that.
> 
> Also I suck at describing scenery and shit so if u didnt get what happened with the tree thing or anything else let me know and I'll try to fix it.
> 
> If u want to see me struggle with the story u can check me out @changki_trash on Twitter I could use some editors or tips 
> 
> PLS leave a comment on what u thought about this chapter I could really use the feedback so I know if I should just delete this shit and restart or something idk  
> Thank you for reading whatever the heck this is <3


	7. Our Love is Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only when you lose something do you realize its value

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for patiently waiting and bless @glokyun for proofreading! <3

"Ow!" Hyungwon yelped as a small branch hit him on the head. He and Hyunwoo were leisurely swimming around when all of a sudden it started raining rocks and branches. Even the current of the river was getting faster.

"Hyungwon, we need to get out of the river!" Hyunwoo yelled as he saw the large branch breaking apart.

Hyungwon was frozen in his spot, head tilted up towards the sky and eyes wide as he watched the tree come down. Hyunwoo who was losing patience quickly grabbed Hyungwon and swam them both to the shore of the river. Before they could even catch their breaths they heard the shouts of the others from the top of the cliff. Hyungwon made eye contact with Hyunwoo to see his own fears reflected in his Hyungs eyes. They both bolted to the top, Hyungwon reaching there first because of his long legs and Hyunwoo following behind.

They looked and saw Kihyun and Hoseok kneeling at the edge of the cliff looking down and Jooheon pressing down on a cut on Minhyuk's leg. Hyunwoo rushed to Minhyuk's side.

"A rock cut him when he was helping me." Jooheon explained. As Hyunwoo took care of Minhyuk, Hyungwon scanned Hoseok making sure he was unhurt and then counted heads.

"1, 2, 3...6. There's only 6 of us!" Hyungwon thought as he frantically looked around for their small maknae. As he saw both of his Hyungs looking over the edge his stomach lurched and he prayed what he was thinking didn't happen."Where's Changkyun?" He yelled to both Hoseok and Kihyun, neither of them replying. Hyungwon knelt by Kihyun and shook him, repeatedly asking him what happened.

"Where's Changkyun?" He yelled to both Hoseok and Kihyun, neither of them replying. Hyungwon knelt by Kihyun and shook him, repeatedly asking him what happened.

"I-I don't know he was right here, he saved me and then there was the rope and hi-his hand oh god I couldn't grab it," Kihyun stuttered, still terrified at what had happened.

"I'll go after him," Hoseok said standing up, readying himself to jump down.

"You can't!" Hyungwon yelled stopping him "You'll die of a heart attack from the height before you even get down there. Taking the trail will take too long we can't risk that, I'll go instead."

As Hyungwon started running towards the edge, Hoseok grabbed his arm and held him back. "If you think I'm letting your skinny ass go down there to get swept away with the waves you're wrong," He chided holding on tight to Hyungwons arms.

"Are you saying I'm too weak to save him?" Hyungwon asked offended that Hoseok didn't trust him.

"That's not it!"

"Then what-"

"Stop fighting both of you, this isn't the time!" Jooheon shouted from the side. "He'll drown before either of you figure it out."

"I'll go, I'm stronger and the leader," Hyunwoo said as he wrapped a cloth around Minhyuk's leg. But before Hyunwoo could even stand up, there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around to see that Kihyun was no longer on the ledge.

"That idiot," Minhyuk said as he tried to hold back tears from the pain. "Be careful."  
  
**********

"He'll drown......he'll die" Were the words that forced Kihyun out of his trance. The prospect of Changkyun dying was not something Kihyun could handle. He wouldn't let it happen, no matter what Kihyun would save him like he always does. Kihyun opened his eyes once he was in the water and although he couldn't see very well he looked around for Changkyun. There, a few feet away from him he saw Changkyun desperately trying to untie the rope that was tangled around his legs. The other end of the rope was stuck under the fallen tree, it was keeping Changkyun from swimming back up.

Kihyun swam towards the rope and tried pulling it out from under the tree but he wasn't strong enough. Instead, he swam to Changkyun who was zoning out from the lack of oxygen. As bubbles flowed from the maknae's mouth, the dread inside Kihyun grew. He grabbed Changkyun and met his eyes, they looked like they were losing the light within them.

Even though Changkyun knew this wasn't the right time, he couldn't help but be in awe as he watched Kihyun. His pink hair flowing and mixing with the blue water, like a halo encircling his pale face.  _"A mermaid."_  Kyun thought.

Kihyun held Changkyun's face in his hands and tapped his forehead against his like always.

"It's going to be okay," Kihyun told Changkyun through his touch, and from the smile that had formed on Kyun's lips, Ki knew he had gotten the message. Kihyun then moved to his ankles and he tried to untie the knot that had formed, but it was too tight. He looked up to see Changkyun's eyes slowly closing and Kihyun's heart raced as he tugged and ripped at the rope. The tips of his fingernails breaking as he attacked the rope. He took sharp rocks and tried to cut the rope but to no avail, nothing worked. The pink haired boy himself was starting to get sluggish as his lungs begged for more air but he would never leave Kyun down here alone. He tightly held onto Changkyun willing him to stay awake.

 _"You didn't make it so far to die here!"_  Kihyun thought, holding onto Changkyun  _"We still need to get our first win please Changkyun I......I still need to tell you I love you."_   As if his voice had somehow floated through the water and drifted into Changkyuns mind, he opened his eyes but just as fast he closed them again. He began drifting off as he felt the water invade his body and fill his lungs.

Just as he was losing hope there was a splash next to them both. Kihyun felt relief pool over his body as he watched Hyunwoo swim towards them, a knife in one hand. He quickly grabbed the rope and began cutting at it vigorously. In under a minute Hyunwoo had the rope cut and was dragging both Changkyun and Kihyun back to the surface. Hyunwoo carried both boys, one under each arm and walked them to the shore where he collapsed. Carrying two grown men even with his muscles, wasn't as easy as it seemed. Kihyun got up from where he was laid and coughed out water, in between breaths he kept saying Changkyun's name.

"Hey it's okay, take it easy," Jooheon said as rubbed his hyungs back "Kyun's okay, Hoseok hyung has got him."

Kihyun looks to the side and sees Hoseok bent over Changkyun's body. As he moved closer to them Ki realized that Hoseok was actually performing CPR on him.

"Volunteering, that's where he learned it," Hyungwon said answering everyone's unspoken question.

Everyone quietly watched and prayed for their maknae, Kihyun held onto his cold, limp hand as Hoseok thumped his chest. The longer Changkyun stayed unresponsive the tenser the boys became. After a few more minutes of dead silence and a few more thumps, Changkyun was up and coughing out all the water he inhaled.

"Seriously kid you gave us a heart attack!" Hoseok said as he hugged the boy.

Collectively everyone sighed as they saw the maknae laugh and thank his Hyungs for rescuing him.

"Of course we would, there's no way we'd let you die on us like that," Minhyuk said limping towards Changkyun and giving him a big bear hug.

They all gathered around closely and gave Changkyun a hug, giving him comfort and showing their relief.

"Thank you for coming for me," Changkyun whispered as he tightly hugged Kihyun.

Kihyun hugged back just as tight as he tried to warm the cold skin of their maknae. "Of course I would brat, I always do don't I?"

Their giggles erupted into laughs which were broken up by Hyunwoo.

"I don't mean to break up the reunion but it's getting dark and we need to head back and take care of those injured," Hyunwoo said as he carried Minhyuk on his back and began walking down the trail. "Our managers need to know about this."

Jooheon face palmed as he wondered if there was any way to hide this whole event. "They're going to kill us and never let us out again. I can see the headlines now!" Jooheon dramatically called out "7 boys who have their whole future ahead of themselves risked their career and life on a stupid tire swing."

"Hey, it wasn't our fault, who knew this would happen?" Hyungwon assured Jooheon as he swung his arm around his neck and they both followed behind their leader. “Besides, no one would use such a long ass title for a headline.”

Behind them, Hoseok followed while carrying Changkyun after a fearsome quarrel with Kihyun on who’d carry him. Hoseok was stronger so it only made sense for him to carry Kyun, which left Kihyun with walking by their side as he held onto Changkyun’s hand.

"You're being pretty brave for someone who almost died today," Hoseok said as he watched the sun go down.

Changkyun seemed pretty okay for someone who had almost drowned. He woke up laughing and saying he could walk by himself. If it was anyone else they would have been crying their eyes out. Kihyun looked to the small boy who just seemed tired. He wasn't shaken up or anything of the like and Kihyun didn't know if that was a good thing. Usually when something traumatic happens isn't it best to let it all out? He hoped this wasn't something that would affect Changkyun going forwards.

"I guess the idea that I almost died hasn't really sunken in yet," Changkyun chuckled as he rested his head on Hoseok's shoulder and tightened his grip on Kihyuns hand. Maybe it was the fact that Changkyun wasn't alone the whole time that gave him strength. When he was dragged down his life had flashed before his eyes. He's amazed he made it out with just a few bruises and cuts. When he was in the water he had panicked, but when Kihyun had come after him the panic disappeared. It was selfish of him to be happy that Kihyun risked his life for him but it made him happy. He would never admit this to anyone but knowing just that, Changkyun had thought it was okay to die. Or maybe he was just being delirious from the lack of oxygen to his brain. Nonetheless, he didn't find it a traumatic experience to get shaken over. Or so he thought.  
  
**********

As the sun set and the stars came out the boys slowly trudged down the mountain in silence. Changkyun took the time to assess his hyungs, looking from each member he noticed that the only one badly hurt was Minhyuk. His cut was bleeding out through the poor excuse of a bandage tied around his leg.

“How did Minhyuk hyung get hurt?” Changkyun whispered but in the silence of the night, everyone heard his question.

“It was because of me,” Jooheon answered, “A sharp rock cut him while he was trying to save me.” The boy looked like a kicked puppy, guilty for causing his beloved hyung pain.

“Yah, don’t think like that! You’re my Joohoney!” Minhyuk shouted from the front, everyone had thought he was sleeping. The boy turned around, unwrapping one arm from Hyungwoo’s neck and gave everyone a big thumb up. “That was the most fun I’ve had in my entire life!”

Everyone looked at the boy for 5 full seconds before bursting out laughing. No was expecting such a reaction and it shocked them to the point of hilarity.

“One of us almost died today,” Hyunwoo responded no hint of laughter in his voice.

“What’s done is done, let’s just think of it as cool memory and move on!” Minhyuk said as he patted Hyunwoo’s back, reassuring him everything was okay. “Right Kyunnie?”

Changkyun didn’t respond for he was already dozing off, his head bobbing with Hoseok’s motions and soft snores trailing out.

“Yeah, and besides we have another obstacle coming up,” Hyungwon said as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around the maknae. “Our managers.”

All 6 boys shared knowing glances and sighs. This was most likely going to be the last time they go out for a while.

**********

Halfway down the mountain, they had met their managers who were coming up to find them. Luckily they didn’t need to explain what happened in detail for their managers already knew. Some of the locals had told them that the tree on the mountain was nearly 100 years old and that they still needed to put up a danger sign. The lack of communication and knowledge that the boys were always doing stupid things led them to believe that something had happened. Fortunately for the boys, their last day of the trip wasn’t canceled but they were banned from leaving the vicinity of the beach house. Minhyuk’s cut wasn’t as bad as it had seemed either. A little bit of ointment and band aids and it was already healing. That allowed the managers to be a bit more lenient and not punish the boys for their carelessness. After a long lecture they were all expecting, they were sent to rest in their rooms.

After setting Changkyun into bed Kihyun left to find Hyunwoo, there was something he had needed to ask him. As he traveled to his hyung’s room he stopped by to check on the other members. Jooheon was too busy yelling into his cellphone to notice Kihyun standing by the door. He was updating Jackson about the day’s events, exaggerating them a bit here and there. Kihyun left Jooheon to his gossiping and went to the next room. The slight shouts from Hoseok and Hyungwon’s room told Kihyun he was better off not checking on them. Their fights were loud and violent but they never lasted long, sooner or later they would be having make-up sex. Shaking that unpleasant thought out of his head Kihyun knocked on Hyunwoo’s room, unlike Jooheons it was locked. He just really hoped he wasn’t interrupting them doing the unthinkable. He heard the loud shuffling of feet from the other side of the door and soon Hyunwoo was in view, in just his underwear.  
  
“Uh, you were to going to bed right? I’m not interrupting anything?” Kihyun hesitantly asked as he told himself he should have just waited until the morning.

At that Hyunwoo blushed and gave him a small chuckle. “Yea-yeah, I was just about to go to bed. Today was pretty tiring after all, Minhyuk’s already asleep shockingly.” Hyunwoo looked at the small pink haired boy in front of him and wondered what was so important that he left Changkyun alone. “Why aren’t you with Changkyun? Did you need something?”

“Yeah well you see, ” Kihyun said as he fiddled his thumbs “I just wanted to know how you knew to bring a knife down with you? You know when you came to help us.”

Hyunwoo tried looking Kihyun in the eye but the latter kept averting his gaze, not allowing eye contact at all.

“Is that really what you wanted to ask?”

“Yes.”

Hyunwoo sighed as he answered the question. “It was taking you longer than we thought so we wondered what could have been keeping you both underwater so long. It was then that Hoseok mentioned the rope and Minhyuk connected the dots. It seemed like a plausible reason so Hyungwon had run back to camp and gotten the knife for me. We simply deduced that from the given situation. Was this really so important that you couldn’t wait till the morning?”  
  
Kihyun cowered under Hyunwoo’s scrutinizing gaze, unable to answer his question. Hyunwoo leaned against the door frame and crossed his muscular arms.

“I’m going to ask you one last time, is that really what you came for?”

“I’m scared to be in the same room as Changkyun,” Kihyun admitted as he crouched down and hid his face in his lap.

Hyunwoo closed the door to his room and also crouched down with Kihyun, patting his head while he asked him “Now why’s that?”

“I don’t know, after what happened I feel so possessive and I don’t know what I’ll do to him,” Kihyun said as poured his feelings out to his hyung, he was embarrassed over what he was feeling. “I wouldn’t even let Hoseok hyung carry him on his back. I was just so scared of losing him I-I don’t know.”

Hyunwoo chuckled as he ruffled his hair and put him in a headlock “You two are more trouble than what you're worth you know that.”

“Ah, seriously hyung!” Kihyun pleaded as he struggled to get out of the headlock.

Finally, Hyunwoo let go of him and said “You’ve seen how easy it is to lose someone if you don’t want to, then stop coming up with excuses and go tell him how you feel. Our maknae will accept you no matter what.”

Kihyun thought about that and he knew Hyunwoo was right.

“Thanks, hyung.” He sighed.

**********

With those words in mind, Kihyun walked back to his room. He wasn’t going to lose Changkyun anymore, he’d tell him everything he was feeling. As Kihyun entered their room he was surprised to see that Changkyun wasn’t in his bed.

“Changkyun-ah where are you?” Kihyun called out but he got no response. He looked around the room and even checked in the bathroom but he wasn’t there. It was only when he saw movements from where the balcony was that he realized he hadn’t looked there.

Kihyun walked to the balcony and moved aside the curtains that covered the door. There sitting on one of the seats was Changkyun hugging his legs to his chest, crying. Ki quickly unlocked the latch and went to the boy. “Hey, what’s wrong? Does something hurt?” He asked as he tried to calm Kyun down.

Through sobs, Changkyun managed to explain that he went out to get a fresh breath of air, but he couldn’t get back in the room because the door was locked. He was fine at first but as time passed he started to panic and soon he broke down. “I got so scared; I thought I was stuck down there again.”

“It’s okay, I’m here I’ve got you,” Kihyun coos as he soothes Changkyun, rubbing his back and hugging him tightly.

“I was so scared,” Changkyun repeats.

“I know but it’s okay now.”

“No, you don’t get it hyung,” Changkyun says as he untangles himself from Kihyun’s embrace. He lowers his voice, forcing Kihyun to come close to hear him. “I was scared because I thought I wouldn’t get to tell you….”  
  
“Tell me what?” Kihyun asks clearly confused about the maknaes behavior.

“I love you hyung,” Changkyun whispers out as he tightly holds onto Kihyun's hands, his eyes lowered to the floor.

It seemed like an eternity had passed as Changkyun waited for Kihyun to respond.

“Changkyun I-"

Before Kihyun could answer Changkyun interrupts him, his anxiety ruling over him as he rambles on.

“I don’t know if you like me, you probably hate me.”

“Chang-“

“It’s probably why you’re avoiding me even though you kissed me which I really don’t get but it’s fine if you do I just-“

“For fuck's sake, Changkyun listen to me!” Kihyun yells out as he grabs his face and kisses him hard on the lips. “I love you too, I really really love you, you don’t even understand how much I love you.

Changkyun once again pulls back from Kihyun’s grasp as his eyes brim with tears. He gets up and walks back into the room with Kihyun following behind.

“You’re right I don’t understand!” Changkyun yells as he throws the pillows on their beds at Kihyun, who quickly dodges each one. “If you love me so much then why did you ignore me?”

“Ah Kyun don't do this listen to me I’m sorry!” Kihyun pleads as he avoids a flying pillow which knocks down a vase behind him. “Stop you’re destroying the room! I’m the one who has to clean up afterward!”

“La la la, I can’t hear you,” Kyun shouts as he continues to chuck pillows at Kihyun.

Luckily for Kihyun, when Changkyun turned his back on him he saw his chance and quickly reached for Kyun, pushing him onto the bed and pinning his wrists beside his head. Changkyun turns his head to the side as he whimpers out “I don’t like you anymore.”

Kihyun kisses Changkyun everywhere, on his neck, along his jawline, his cheeks and forehead. He grasped Kyun’s chin, tilting it upwards as he kissed him on the lips again.

“Are you sure about that?” Kihyun chuckles as he watches Changkyun’s face turn red. He sits him upright on the bed and as Kihyun had done countless amounts of times before, he touches his forehead with the younger; his breath tickling the latter’s lips.

“I’m sorry I know I’m an idiot, I was just so scared and confused. I’ve never felt like this before, let alone towards a guy I didn’t know what to do,” Kihyun confesses. After holding everything in for so long he finally lets it all out. “But oh god Changkyun I love you so fucking much. When you got pulled down the cliff I thought it was the end of the world and that I lost you. I never felt as useless as I did back then.” It was in that moment that Kihyun realized there was no bigger fear then not having Changkyun by his side. “Please forgive me.”

“No.”

Kihyun was disheartened at Changkyun’s answer, but he didn’t let that stop him.

“How can I get you to forgive me?” Kihyun asks as he stares at Kyun’s poker face. He was so busy studying Kyun’s face that he hadn’t realized that the maknae had pushed him down and was now on top of him.

“Like this,” Changkyun whispered into Kihyun’s ear as he proceeded to re-enact what Kihyun had done to him before. It didn’t take long for Kihyun to wrap his arms around Changkyun’s waist as he pulled him down and topped him instead. Kihyun went down on Changkyun with a ferocity he didn’t know he had. Kyun made his head go blank with desire and he lost all control.

Their lips were locked as moans escaped from both their mouths. In between gasps, Kihyun dipped his tongue into Changkyun’s mouth and as their tongues met an intense fire burned though Changkyun. He raked his hand through Kihyun’s pink locks and tugged at his shirt, wishing for more skin on skin contact. Just as Changkyun raised his hips to rub his erection against Kihyun’s he was abruptly pushed back down by Ki.

The next thing he knew Kihyun was no longer on top of him and instead was running out the room. Changkyun watched as the pink haired boy slammed the hotel door and left. The maknae sat up in bed wild-eyed and disheveled as he wondered if he should cry or laugh. Kihyun had left him with a raging boner and questions in his head, again.

 _"Is he regretting this?"_  Changkyun thought as tears swelled up in his eyes. Just as his tears threatened to spill over the door had slammed open again. The tears blurred Changkyun’s vision but from the sudden burst of pink, he knew who it was. There in the door frame stood Kihyun heavily panting while clutching a small bag.

"I thought you left," Changkyun called out as he rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

"Now why would I do that?" Kihyun answered as he locked the door and lessened the space between him and Changkyun. "I didn’t know you cried so easily, I just went to get something essential."

Changkyun smacked Kihyun as he got back in bed. He wanted to know what could have been more important than them but he didn't want to whine, he wasn't Minhyuk after all. Kihyun watched Changkyun as he fiddled with his hands and thoughts. He chuckled for he knew exactly what kind of thoughts Kyun was having. Kihyun showed the boy the bag he was holding.  
  
"Don't tell me you left to get Hyungwon’s seaweed looking ass clutch," Changkyun scoffed as he picked it up. This time it was Kihyun’s turn to smack him.  
  
"Don't get ahead of yourself brat I'm still your hyung now open it."  
  
Changkyun eyed Kihyun suspiciously for he was smiling mischievously. Kyun did wonder what was inside the bag Hyungwon brought everywhere. He unzipped it and looked inside and before he knew it his ears and cheeks were red with embarrassment. Changkyun quickly covered himself with the blanket and hid as Kihyun laughed at him.  
  
"I told you it was important," Kihyun laughed as he took out a few condoms and little bottles of lube from the pack.  
  
"I can't believe he carries that around," Changkyun’s voice came out muffled from underneath the covers. Not long after Kyun felt a heavy weight on top of him.  
  
"Come on out," Kihyun whispered with a honey voice that Changkyun couldn't disobey.

Kihyun watched as Changkyun’s eyes and nose peeked out from underneath the white blanket, the tips of his ears still red. Ki's heartstrings pulled for he couldn't believe how cute the scene before him was and that the person beneath him was his and only his. He smiled as he kissed Changkyun’s forehead, moving down to peck his nose and cheeks. As he went for his lips he saw that they were still covered. Kihyun met Changkyun’s eyes and the intensity of the heat was back. Kihyun slowly moved the blanket between them away and once again the fiery kisses began. Not long after articles of clothing were thrown onto the floor as the bed creaked with movement.

“You’re beautiful.” Kihyun breathed as he bit Changkyun’s collarbone, slowly moving down to tease his nipples.

“And you’re cheesy,” Changkyun rasped out as Kihyun sucked on his nubs, licking around the skin. The longer Kihyun spent teasing him the harder Changkyun got. So he raised his hips begging for Kihyun to touch him down there.

Slowly Kihyun’s hand traveled down Kyun’s body, ghosting over it and sending shivers up Changkyun’s spine.

“You’re too slow,” Changkyun whined but soon his breath hitched as Kihyun grasped his hard length and began pumping. With hungry hands he stoked Changkyun, coming up to thumb his slit. Kyun arched his back as his moans reached a crescendo that was silenced by Kihyun’s lips.

“If you’re too loud they’ll hear,” Kihyun murmured against his ears as he tightened his hold around Changkyun’s dick, precum already leaking out.

Changkyun gasped at the sudden feeling of his release being cut off. “I can’t cum if you hold on so tightly.” He cried out.

“That’s the idea,” Kihyun teased as he spread Changkyun’s legs out even more.

With his arms, Changkyun covered his face and closed his eyes for he was too embarrassed to face Kihyun. But the dark made him feel Kihyun’s touches all the more. Changkyun melted as he felt Kihyun graze and bite his inner thigh, but the feeling only lasted so long as Kihyun had stopped and was instead moving Changkyuns arms away. The only thing filling his vision was pink; a breathless, blushing pink face with pink hair and glazed eyes.

“We don’t have to do this today you know that,” Kihyun said as he cupped Changkyun’s cheeks.

“But I want to,” Changkyun answered back as he wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s neck, pulling him closer and biting at his lips.

That was all Kihyun needed to let lose as he entered one finger and another as Changkyun loosened up. It was a feeling Changkyun had never experienced before, more vivid than anything he had ever read. In a daze, Changkyun bit Kihyun’s shoulder as he drowned in pleasure every time Ki’s finger hit his prostate.

“I’m coming in okay,” Kihyun panted his honey voice filled with lust as his tip slowly entered Changkyun causing him to take in shaky breaths.

“Hyung!” Changkyun cried out as he felt Kihyun’s warm length inside of him.

Kihyun began thrusting in and out as Changkyun tried to bite back his moans, failing miserably. Their breathing and hip movements in sync with each thrust as both males melted and mingled with each other. Kihyun’s whole cock rippled with the feeling of being inside Changkyun. A heat he didn’t know he needed till now, hot and dirty was each thrust.

“Say my name,” Kihyun breathed out as he quickened his pace, coming closer to his release.

Sensual was the orgasm as if the whole word had stopped and they were the only ones relishing in ecstasy. Electric sparks pulsed though their bodies as they reached the highest peak of pleasure. Finally, the two boys who kept avoiding one another were together.

“Kihyun!” Changkyun screamed as he came, white liquid spilling all over his abdomen. Just as fast Kihyun moaned. When Changkyun came his muscles clenched, tightening around Kihyun's dick and causing him to cum. With no energy left Changkyun collapsed, panting hard as he tried to calm down his raging heartbeat.

“You did great,” Kihyun murmured as he fell against Changkyun’s chest, no strength in his body to move. Both boys lay there listening to the other's breath and heartbeat. Kihyun got up on his elbows and moved Changkyun’s bangs back as he smiled and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you,” He said again as he squished the poor boy's cheeks.  
  
“Me too,” Changkyun responded with a smile “I’d love you even more if you took your dick out of me already.”

Kihyun deviously smirked at the boy in his arms. “You didn’t think we were done yet did you?”

Changkyun gulped.

**********

 _"A mermaid? Fuck that, more like a beast,”_  Changkyun thought as he lay beside the so-called beast. Kihyun was drawing circles on Kyun’s wrist with his thumb and humming melodies. He was in a happy mood, and so was Changkyun but he was too drained to show that. Another round in bed and one more in the shower was what it took to satisfy Kihyun. Now they were buried and tangled together under the blankets; cuddling.  
  
"I’ve been thinking,” Kihyun speaks up as he spoons the younger.

"What?" Kyun asks as Kihyun moves to get on top of him again. "Ah hyung please, we already went three rounds I can't do anymore," Changkyun whined as he squirmed underneath Kihyun.

"Not that," Kihyun chuckled "you also avoided me for a week didn't you?"

Changkyun got smaller under him. "Nope. I have no idea what you’re talking about," he said as he tried to get away but the pain in his ass wouldn’t let him move at all, not to mention the tight hold Kihyun had on him.  
  
"Don’t lie to me, don't you think it's your turn to make it up to me now for ignoring me.”  
  
“Ahh you’re such a savage hyung, you don’t have any control. How could you do that to a fragile boy like me?” Changkyun pouted as he tried to change the topic. Kihyun was asking about the time when Changkyun avoided him because of the fan fictions he had read. There was no way in hell he would tell him that.  
  
“Tell me why you did that. We’re lovers now we shouldn't hide things from each other anymore. If I did something wrong then or hurt you in any way you need to tell me," Kihyun asked with genuine sincerity.

Changkyun blushed at the use of the word lover. Changkyun and Kihyun were lovers; boyfriends. A term that was only associated with them in fiction was real now. Kyun didn’t want to hurt Kihyun, he didn’t want him to blame himself when it was all because of Changkyun’s own embarrassment.

“It was all because of the fanfics,” Changkyun grumbled out as he turned around to bury his face into the pillow.

Kihyun was confused; he had no idea what the word that Changkyun just used was. “Because of what? What did you say? Fanfics?” he asked as he bit the back of Changkyun’s neck and tugged on his hair to get him to answer.

Changkyun groaned at the prospect of having to explain it to his hyung. He was already using all of his strength to admit to reading gay porn about themselves and now this. The maknae glared at Kihyun who continued looking confused.

“Don’t glare at me brat,” Kihyun chided as he flicked Changkyun’s forehead. “Tell me what you’re hiding!”

Kyun sighed as he reached for his phone on the side table and searched up a random fanfic with the Changki tag. Changkyun threw the phone to the other end of the bed so Kihyun would get off of him.

The vocalist sat cross-legged on the bed as he scrolled through the story. Changkyun watched Kihyun’s facial expressions change from the corner of his eye. From knitted brows and a scrunched up face of confusion to a wide opened mouth of surprise. Changkyun wished he could disappear right that moment.

“Yah, is this what you read?” Kihyun asked as he scratched the back of his head. “I didn’t think you were into being tied up and fondled.”

“What? No!” Changkyun yells as he gets up on his knees and crawls on the bed to where Kihyun was sitting. He snatches the phone out of Kihyun’s hand to see what he was talking about. Kyun had picked a random story to show Kihyun and it turned out to be a dom-sub bondage kind of one.

“I-I don’t read this!” Changkyun cried out. He tried to explain himself but he was at a loss for words. Changkyun falls into Kihyun's lap as he has a meltdown, his head rested in-between Ki's legs. With his hands covering his face Kyun grunts out “I’m sorry I’m so weird.”

“You’re not weird at all,” Kihyun calmly says as he tenderly strokes Changkyun’s head. “Besides, I find every weird thing you do cute,” He chuckles out.

Changkyun moves his hands away as he stares at his hyung. “I was too embarrassed to face you after I read those, that's why I avoided you,” He explains “It wasn’t because of anything you did, I’m just an idiot.”

Kihyun bends down and squishes Changkyun’s cheeks causing his lips to pucker out and kisses them.

“I guess we’re both fools then,” He smiles against the warmth of Changkyun’s lips. Suddenly Kihyun sits up straight as if he was just hit with an idea. “Who’s the culprit?”

“What?”

“It was Minhyuk who told you about these, wasn’t it? I doubt the others even know about the existence of these fanfics. He’s always corrupting the others!” Kihyun scoffs as he plans out the lecture Minhyuk would hear first thing tomorrow morning.

Changkyun bursts out laughing at Kihyun’s accusation; little did he know how corrupt all the members were. Once again Kihyun bends down and pushes his face closer to Kyun.

“You know,” Kihyun beings with a dangerous look in his eyes “we could read more of those and act some out if you want.” He smirks.

Changkyun blushes as he registers the words and shoves Kihyun’s face back with his hands. “I can’t believe you!” Kyun laughs out. Both boys sit in bed giggling away with each other when suddenly Changkyun goes quiet.

“What’s wrong?” Kihyun calls out as he notices the change in his lover’s mood.

“What if we’re just in a fanfic created by some Monbebe fan and this is all fake and you don’t really love me?” Changkyun whispers out.  
  
“Yah!” Kihyun yells as he flicks Kyun’s forehead again. “You need to stop reading these stories, you’re getting delusional.” Kihyun pulls Chankgyun out of his lap and gets him to look Ki in the eyes. He intertwines his hands with Kyun’s as he says “No story in this world will change the fact that I love you and only you. You understand?”

Changkyun nods as he lets out a little laugh when Kihyun raises his hands up to kiss them.

“Now, how about we go back to bed it’s getting late,” Kihyun says as he turns off the lights.

Changkyun gets under the covers and hugs onto Kihyun tight as he settles his head into the crook of his neck. Intertwining his legs with Kihyun’s, the smaller breathes in the older’s sweet scent. Changkyun begins to fall asleep to Kihyun’s light voice and his hands stroking his head.

“I’ll be right here when you wake up,” Changkyun hears Kihyun’s voice call out as he lets himself be lulled to sleep.

Fanfic or not their love is real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw u break the 4th wall ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but yeah that concludes my 1st fanfic thank you all for reading and I hope y'all enjoyed it.  
> I tried really hard for the smut but if it wasn't enough my apologies, writing smut for my 1st ever story was a bad idea :')  
> My friend said this was angsty af but I didn't think so at all LOL but yeah I'll hopefully be writing more stories in the future so look out for those I guess. You can catch me on twitter @Changki_Trash 
> 
> As always comments are appreciated and they bless my day~


End file.
